Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Hell Week has Really Earned it's Name

As of right now I'm feeling somewhat defeated. I'm just feeling over run by stress and emotion. It's very possible that I will burst into tears at any moment.

This semester has been my hardest one yet. I'm feeling very overwhelmed by the work load and I feel so close to graduating but so far and even graduating seems like a stressful idea at this point. I know this sounds really dramatic but I feel absolutely miserable right now.

I woke up at 5am yesterday to workout and it made me feel pretty good for the morning. I was at school by 10am and studying for my midterm that night. Unfortunately my 5am wakeup call started really hitting me around 4pm so I had to drink a redbull just to get through my exam. It was a pretty hard exam but I think I did okay. I got home around 7:30, made myself some chicken and was out the door again by 8 to go to the library with Erika. I got a decent amount done but still have lots left to do.

I tried to make myself wake up early this morning but I just couldn't. I got ready, enjoyed a good breakfast and was ready by 11. My stepdad picked me up soon after and we went to the office. I work at one and I told him I was just going to spend the extra hour studying. He was like "well, why don't you just start at 12 because you usually get out an hour early anyways." This is true but the reason we usually leave at 8 instead of 9 is because he wants to go home. I never ask to. I don't think it was fair to ask me to start early when I have so much on my plate right now and he was the one who forgot that I started at 1 and not 12. I just want to cry thinking about how I have so much studying to do before 8:30am tomorrow and edit a paper. Not only do I have all this to do but right after I get home tomorrow I have a quiz due by midnight that I haven't even studied or read for and then a paper due for Sunday. I'm just feeling so overwhelmed and stressed. I just get zero happiness from school. I can't wait until it's over. I seriously think I'm going to lose it.

I'm sorry if this feels like whining but I just need to vent. I'm just having a tough go this week. I knew it would be hard but I didn't expect to feel this emotionally drained.

Well I think I got everything out that I needed to.

Good luck to everyone else feeling the stress right now.


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