Feelings

*Some love I found in my coffee mug yesterday*

I've been feeling a bit of sadness lately. I just miss my family and being home and being able to see Jordan whenever I want. And I also feel like I have a lack of purpose in Toronto right now. I feel like I moved here to be closer to the city but I never get to experience it because it's way too cold to spend my nights walking the streets. I feel like I basically just came out here to work. It's a bit disheartening.

I know this feeling will pass but right now it's pretty strong. I just want it to be spring already so I can go and do something. Whether it's alone or with someone, I just want to experience something other than my apartment or work. And I feel this strong pull to go back home right now and I don't want that. I want to spend time alone and experience things but I'm still always feeling a need to find a way to go home for a few days.

I work from 5pm-12pm tonight and then I have an on-call on Friday and work all day Saturday. That should be a good distraction for now. The hopefully Jordan will come up on Saturday night.

Until then I'll just use these to get me by:

 *Thanks J.G.L. You're a doll*

*This is something I never want to forget. It's so important.*

xoTaylor

Obsession Tuesday

Yes…I made up the idea of Obsession Tuesday just now. And no…I may never repeat this but I am obsessed with something right now and I have to share with you.

This weekend I watched The White Striped documentary Under the Great White Northern Lights.

It follows them on their amazing Canadian tour in 2007. A live cd also came from this tour. I bought the cd a few years ago and I was in love with it. So amazing. I finally got around to watching this documentary and my obsession continues.

They are just such an amazing band. I love all of their music but I also just love Meg and Jack. They're just so damn cool. And there so many different things that other bands don't that keeps them creative and totally inspiring. During this tour they played tons of free shows that they would tell people about hours or even minutes before. They played everywhere from bowling alleys, to parking lots, to schools, and even on a boat with the crowd sitting on the beach. They also don't have a set list during their shows which means they make up all up as they go along. That means that every show is completely different and fresh for them and everyone else. They are just true musicians and I can't say enough good stuff about them.

And did I mention that they are just so damn cool?

I wouldn't really recommend this documentary unless you're a pretty big fan. It had a lot of stuff that I loved but I think that might have just been because I love them. But you should love them too so give it a try! It's reallllyyy good.

My favourite part was just learning more about Meg and Jack. They seem to be pretty private so it was really interesting.

Now if you'll go excuse me, I'm off to go watch tons of youtube videos of them in interviews pre-band breakup.

Happy Tuesday!

xoTaylor

Secret of the Week

It's National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. If you know someone who may have an eating disorder HELP THEM. Talk to them. If you are struggling with an eating disorder know that there's always someone to talk to and help you.

Support.

xoTaylor

Sick Days

It's been a bit of a whirlwind for me lately. Sunday morning Erika and I drove back to our hometown so she could see her family and so I could grab a car. I hung around for a while to grab lunch with Jordan and get a little quality time in before I had to back to Toronto to work for the night. Since I got back to Toronto a little earlier I decided to clean my room and pack a bag because I was planning on going back home for a few days and I figured I might as well just make the trek again that night. Doing the same 40 minute drive twice in one day isn't too fun but waking up early the next day to do it isn't any better.

It's a good thing that I went home the night before because I spent all night waking up with horrible stomach pains. I've never felt this before. It felt like someone was taking my stomach and wringing it out like a wash cloth. I woke up the next morning feeling like I'd been beaten up in my sleep. My whole body was sore, I had a headache and a fever. It wasn't too bad until I thought I could take a shower and do my hair. I felt like I was going to be sick and faint at the same time. Jordan was on his way to pick me up and by the time he got there I got in his car and just started crying. When we got to his house we asked his mom, who's a nurse, what to do and she gave me a long hug while rubbing my back and telling me what her "get better" plan was for me. After some pills I took a nice, long nap and woke up feeling a bit better. I could finally have at least a piece of toast. I kept feeling better all night, with the help of more pills and by the next morning I was all better.

Honestly,  I can't get over the kindness of some people. I know Jordan and his mother really didn't feel like they did much for me but it was soo needed that day. I felt like I was dying and all I really needed was someone to rub my back, or tuck me in, or just make me feel better when I cried and they did that for me. I got Jordan some chocolate and his mom a cute little succulent to say thank you. They're so kind.

I'm still in my hometown today but I'll be heading back later tonight. I'll be back this weekend for my nephew's birthday. I'm excited for that!

Also: please note that the photos above are NOT from my sick day. If someone took a photo of me that day then you would probably be cringing right now. Thank God for no photographic evidence of that fateful day!

xoTaylor

Happy Day of Love!

Today is Valentine's Day…if you haven't already been reminded by the 10 million posts on social media, or those intense pink and red aisles of every store you have been into lately. Unfortunately I don't get to see my love today :( I work…and we're also an hour away from each other but that's okay. I sent him his valentine this morning:

It's from Lord of the Rings and it's super nerdy but we always get a laugh out of that quote.

Since I don't get to get to see my love tonight, I've declared myself as my stand-in Valentine. Jordan will always be my Valentine, but he's not here so all that love goes to ME! I made a delicious breakfast, lounged around, worked out, made a smoothy and a delicious salad and have basically spent almost every other second watching tv in bed. It's the perfect day. Except for the fact that I have to work tonight. Oh WELL!

Don't forget to show yourself some love this Valentines day!

xoTaylor

Today is a Good Day

Today is a good day. Not for any particular reason, but it just feels good. Even when I was doing mundane things like sitting on the bus, I noticed little things that made me feel happy.

I worked my editing job until two and then lazed around for an hour while I waited to call in at 3 to see if I had to work my retail job tonight. And I didn't! Yay. So I got ready and headed out for an afternoon date with myself.

I needed to get some new books to read (I read TWO in Punta Cana) and wanted to take myself to dinner at Panera. I strolled through the mall on the way to Chapters and ended up buying a few things. I also bought a couple books at Chapters.

Here's my haul:

I got 12 Years a Slave By Solomon Northrup and Slaughterhouse Five By Kurt Vonnegut. I think I'll read Kurt's first. I've heard good things. I'm really excited about my new iPhone case. It was only $12. Score. My favourite find is my purse. I've been dying to find one like the one Marnie has been carrying around on GIRLS but hers is $450 so that was a big no. Mine was $30 and the closest I've come across so I'm happy! Thanks Forever 21!

By the time I was done I had kind of blew my budget for the day (whoops) and it was still kind of early so I decided to just go home. I stopped at the grocery store on the way for milk and jam and they had frozen pizza for $3. And it was the fancy kind! I told you think was a good day.

Now I've got the whole night ahead of me to do whatever I want. AND I don't have to work until tomorrow afternoon so I can stay up late. Ahh the good life.

Here's to the little things!

xoTaylor

We Went to Punta Cana!

Jordan and I took a wonderful, wonderful week-long trip to Punta Cana! It was SO great to get away from this frigid Canadian winter and leave our work behind!

I didn't have my good camera (because I'm a very forgetful person and forgot my charger and memory card) so these are all photos that I snapped with my iPhone.

All we did all week was lay on the beach. It was wonderful. We drank tons of pina coladas and got as much sun as our pale bodies would allow.

Until next time sunshine!

xoTaylor